Uncertainty.

If there is something I hate most in this world, it is uncertainty. "The fear of the unknown." It's like this anxiety and dread that we have to life with. And, debatably, at this moment in my life I am at the most uncertain point in my life. There is just so many unknowns ahead of me. College. Relationships. Health. Everything. Life is just this big unknown right now and I have to just get through.

To explain what I mean by uncertainty, just think of it like surfing. I know that may sound a little weird but just listen first. In surfing you have to find the perfect wave and manage to ride it with out falling, sort of like in life. In life we have to figure out the best path for ourselves and just try to get through life the best we can with as little complications as possible.

For me, the worst part of uncertainty is you can't really do anything about it, at least not the serious unknowns. The other day we had lock down at my school because a crazy man was running around with a gun, and all I could do was sit there and just wait it out. Half of us were freaking out and crying, while the other of us, mostly the introverts, where just internally trying to sort out everything. The half who were freaking out externally were really just causing the rest of us to freak out more. And that was uncertainty does, it just causes panic and chaos. And whether we express that outwardly or not is up to the person, but we can't deny that uncertainty does get to all of us. For me I panically internally. All I could think about was my best friend was in the two building down from me and I couldn't help her or protect if anything were to happen. And that kills me inside. I didn't know if she was okay, if she was even alive. All I wanted to do was run to her and make sure she was okay, but I wouldn't know until lock down was over. And that is was kills me about uncertainty, I might not known until it was too late. But to contradict that, that might be the good side to uncertainty, the not knowing. If I have an idea of how it might turn out I might just freak out more than if I have to wait it out. If I am completely clueless throughout all of it I might just be neutral and wait it out.

However you choice to feel about uncertainty or the "unknown," we all have to deal with it. So I guess what I am trying to say is... Uncertainty, bring it bitch. I'm ready for whatever you got coming.

Love Sara :)